TGU: Wow.

21Jun08

Weeks after I had intended to do it, I’m tackling the office for The Great Unclutter. Oh my lord, it is going to be a big job! Everything that doesn’t have a home seems to end up in here, as well as a few boxes that haven’t been unpacked in ages. Like, since I moved last. In May 2007.

So here’s some examples of the chaos:

  • two old agendas (2007 work planner, and 07/08 school/work planner)
  • a pink fluffy pen from Senor Frogs that a friend brought me
  • 8 expired boxes of tic tacs
  • a pair of old airline headphones
  • a baggy of old beer, cider and cooler lids – I don’t know why I was collecting them?
  • half a package of birthday candles
  • 10 mostly-used up sticker sheets
  • an old combination lock
  • a Cabbage Patch doll shoe
  • a barbie
  • decorative chopsticks

And that’s just a portion of the 66 items I’ve thrown out, recycled, or boxed to get donated/sold. I’m stil not even halfway through the chaos, but I’ve had to take a break because the dust is driving my allergies crazy. Round Two will begin later today or tomorrow morning, and be rounded out by a trip to the recycling depot to move on all the recyclables and trash.

Happy things I’ve found:

  • a stack of mini-photo albums from first year uni
  • a pin Adam gave me at the end of grade 12 that says “I’ve survived damn near everything”
  • the worry dolls my mum sent me in first year
  • all kinds of awesome notes my mum has sent me since I moved out (my favourite came with a little bit of money: “Hi sweetie, I’m glad you’re eating well. Use this to buy more fruit! Love you, Mum”)

And as I go along, I’m realising why I’ve put this particular room off for so long – it’s where all the sentimental things, the past, the memories are. It’s where the boxes of things that I couldn’t bear to part with but couldn’t bear to face have been. As I go through these things, deciding what stays, what goes (and how it goes)… it’s painful. It’s raw and honest and hurtful and hopeful and PAINFUL. It’s memories of relationships and friendships that are no longer, it’s the physical reminders of places and people and moments. It’s a reminder of who I have been, who I am, how different I have become, how different my life and lifestyle have become.

This ball in my throat, these tears, this feeling like I’m going to break into pieces or throw up… this is what I’ve been avoiding. This is what’s been holding me back – not wanting to face these feelings or memories.

But today it’s driving me forward – I don’t want to hold myself back anymore. I need to let certain places, people and memories go so I can get on with making the life that I want so desperately.

Advertisements


3 Responses to “TGU: Wow.”

  1. 1 Caitlin

    I don’t know if you have this website already, http://www.metagrrrl.com/discardian/ but it is amazing. also, http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1812185,00.html?iid=redirect-declutter

    🙂

  2. 2 Marianne

    Thanks Cait – these look like great resources!

  3. 3 onebagnation

    I have things I don’t want to face as well. They are lurking in the basement and I’m determined to get through them by the end of the summer.

    Thanks for sharing your feelings about the decluttering; that’s such a big part of what holds us back.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: