Global warming can kiss my ass.


Clearly, the climate here is as baffled as we mere mortals about the never-ending winter. This was my commute yesterday:

Left work. It’s not raining! YAYAYAY!

Turned onto the sidewalk, away from the cover of the house my office is in and the trees around it. OH LORD it’s windy. And really really cold. Where are my gloves? Fingers turning into icicles!

Made it onto the pleasantly warm bus, packed like sardines with the kids who just got let out of high school down the road.

Switched to the less crowded, but also warm express bus. Delight at the warmth and continued lack of raining.

Wait, is that..? Nooo it can’t be. Wait, no, that is definitely what I think it is. Snow. Fucking SNOW. In Vancouver. In MARCH. March is Vancouver is meant to be flowers and light jackets and the occasional rainshower. NOT SNOW. Fuck.

Get off the bus, walk to the clinic. Clinic is warm and decidedly out of the flurries. Wait is 45 minutes. Fucking flu season.

Oh, the doctor will see me now? It’s only been 20minutes! Sweet, things are looking up! Doctor sees me for all of THREE MINUTES. At least he wrote the prescriptions I needed.

Walk down the street to the pharmacy, bitterly ignoring the fact that it is now RAINING. Umbrella is too buried in purse to bring it out for a 3 block walk.

Wait a tick, what was that flash I just saw out the corner of my eye?

HOLY CRAP THE SKY IS FALLING. Wait, nope, that’s just thunder. Wow that baby over there is not impressed with thunder – kid, I understand. Vancouver gets thunder once a year. In September. Not in March.

Mmmm Shopper’s is warm.

Leave Shopper’s, head to bus stop. Holy sweet baby Jesus, it’s windy. And it’s cold. WHERE ARE MY GLOVES. Hate the bus. Hate waiting. COLDCOLDCOLD.

Take the bus up the road, realise it is now REALLY raining. Haven’t seen more lightning, but do I really want to walk up the (very exposed) hill to my house carrying a metal umbrella? Decide to just get wet – it’s only 4 blocks.

Come home, hug boyfriend, decide never want to leave house again. Reject idea to go to the driving range on the weekend – I don’t know how to play golf, and I refuse to engage in outdoor sports until the fucking climate gets its shit together and gives me normal spring weather and temperatures that involve two digits. Realise that I really don’t have it so bad, because everyone east of here still has 48992 feet of snow on the ground. Don’t care. Want sunshine, flowers, and frolicking.

This morning it was sunny and clear skied. Now it is grey and windy, and the radio is reporting snow and hail in various areas.



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