I’m breaking up with my body and my mind.

21Jan08

Yep, you heard me. I’m dumping them. I’m kicking them to the curb. This relationship is O. V. E. R.

It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a breakup, and never before with my body or my mind.  I think it’s going to be hard, and there will be tears and stress. I’m probably going to want to take them back, to say we can make it work, that there must be a way.

But honestly? Fuck that! We are THROUGH. I am done with fighting them, hating them, being held back by them. I am over the fighting between mind and body, the negativity and hate.

Instead I’m going out to build a new relationship. A relationship that is tender and caring, loving and gentle, supportive and encouraging. A relationship that focuses on the positive, the future, and perpetual improvement. A relationship of confidence and acceptance. A relationship that will carry me to and through the future I want and deserve.

A relationship with a new mind, new body and renewed spirit. A relationship within myself that will allow to rebuild and repair my relationships with others. A relationship that will allow me to love and support others more and better by loving and supporting myself more and better.

A relationship with a lot of bubble baths, good books, clothes that fit, long walks, trips to the swimming pool, prayer, meditation, nourishing foods, carrots and cupcakes, and the occasional pedicure at my favourite spa.  A relationship with mistakes and shortcomings and new beginnings and forgiveness. A relationship that will be perfect in its imperfections.

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8 Responses to “I’m breaking up with my body and my mind.”

  1. DO IT! You’ll never be sorry. I got so tired of punishing myself for not being “perfect.” The clothes thing was my main mode of ineffectual discipline. “Too fat? Tough! No new clothes! You’ll just have to be uncomfortable and unattractive until you behave, which means lose weight!” Boo to that. Yay to love and good health! x and o and x and o!

  2. 2 Marianne

    Thanks, C. xo back at you!

    I still want to work on losing weight, but with emphasis on healing myself through positive thoughts, physical exercise, and good nourishment, rather than on deprivation and a search for perfection.

  3. Love this, Marianne. Such an inspiration.

  4. 4 Marianne

    Aw, thanks EW!

  5. That’s a heavenly life, isn’t it? And you’ll get there. One activity I did recently was from The Millionaire Mommy Next Door’s blog, where I took several magazines and tore out photos, words, and quotations that are what mean a rich life to me (not necessarily rich in financial terms, but meaningful, happy, etc.). Then I organized them and pasted them onto a piece of posterboard. It sounds weird, but it gave me so much clarity to see what I wanted out of life all there on a big piece of paper in front of me. (The photos I picked tend to represent experiences and emotions rather than what they literally were photos of.) I highly recommend the activity to anyone trying to gain clarity and develop/keep a sense of purpose.

    Funny things happen to me when I try to take care of myself–like now I FLOSS every day and don’t begrudge it, because it’s a form of self-love, not a form of self-control. Funny how perception matters so much, huh?


  1. 1 Just try. « Practice Living
  2. 2 Give up and Add in « Practice Living
  3. 3 Letter to my body « Practice Living

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